Sunday, May 6, 2007


I have been a little confused lately about things that have been going on. I sat down last night with a person who was my first ever best friend in Christ. I never really ever got a chance to tell him that. I always thought that I was just a good friend to him, but not really one his best friends. I told him about how much I looked up to him my freshman year, how much I desired to have a heart for the Lord as he did. I could come to him about all the hard things in life and he would just listen and not judge me but still correct me out of love. I really haven't talked to him in three years. It was like I knew him but only as an acquaintance. As we sat there last night and early this morning, I heard of his desire to know the Lord and to be used by him every second of his life. He admitted his faults and his weaknesses and stated that he was nothing without Christ. I sat there in awe over his humility and desire to know God.

I guess this is where I am confused. I sat there and listened to him all night and looked in to his eyes and saw his desire to know and be used by God. His heart told the story. As it says in Proverbs 27:19, "As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man." That was his reflection. So, to get back to my confusion. (the next few things I am going to say are quite emotional and at no point am I trying to say that I am anything because it is not me that did this but Christ) I could have easily pointed out every flaw of my friend and told him how he doesn't measure up. How what he has done in his life didn't help out ministries or his image in Christ and that what he did a lot of the times were wrong. I could have pointed at his sin and gave him nowhere to run, and rammed it in his face. But I didn't, he was already convicted of these sins in his life. He knew, better than I, of what he has done. There would have been no reason for that. I listened to him and told him of the strength that I see in him, the kind of strength that comes from his weakness. Which leads me to a point that I need to see myself. Why do some want to point out the flaws of others? Is it to make them hurt more than they already do? Do they really want to help? Or just tell you that you are broken? Do they really love you or are they disgusted by your struggles and can't stand to be around a person who fails? (especially if that person "knows better")

When we bring things into the light are we doing it out of love or do we want to make a person so aware of their failures that they run from ever wanting to open up to that person again?

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